I've been told a number of times in life that there is something about my energies. I never really thought I can heal or have any special abilities, but I've always been curious about it. I've tried a number of times to heal friends, and some say that it actually helps a lot, but I am still not completely convinced.
After a Jose Silva Ultramind course taught by a famous Norwegian medium a number of years ago, she ended the session with hugging all her students. After hugging me she suddenly had to take a deep breath and said 'oh wow, that's a lot of energy'. I never got a chance to ask her about it, but I've been wondering for a very long time what she meant. Do I really have strong energies, and if so, are they good, bad, and what does that mean, and can I use that for anything?
The 'Spirit Baby' woman I talked to recently about trying to connect with Zoe and Kian also said she could sense that I have strong energies and an ability to heal, and said that it's my life purpose to help others, and strongly suggested I should learn Reiki. I'm skeptical, she may have just told me exactly what she thought I wanted to hear. This woman has a BA in psychology as well, so she knows very well that all humans has a need or desire to feel special in one form or the other.
It hasn't even been a week since I lost my two little angels, but one thought that keeps haunting me in between all the tears is there has to be something I am supposed to learn from this, or some kind of purpose to it all. It may very well just be a coping mechanism, but I always believed that there is a soul, and that the soul develops through many lifetimes and through a number of experiences. People used to tell me all the time when I was a child that I have an old soul, and I felt so many times that people I meet in my life has old or young souls.
I also had this feeling of unfulfillment for long periods of my life. I haven't felt it in some time now, but I used to feel that my job as a designer was meaningless and that I should be working with people, helping people in one way or the other. I signed up as a volunteer at the Children's Cancer Division at Rikshospitalet in Norway and tried a lot of different things without feeling that any of it was right for me.
I've always had a skill when it comes to helping people through difficult periods of their life, probably because I had such a rough life myself that I understand most human emotions and have found ways in my own life to deal with it all. Maybe it's time to do something serious about it instead of just being a good friend to people I randomly meet.
I talked to Rob about it. He is one of the people I've been trying to heal. He had a surgery earlier this year and was in a lot of pain and I tried focusing all my energies on him, and he claims it helped him a lot. Again, I am skeptical, maybe he just imagined it, cause I didn't see a solid proof, like the wound magically healing or anything like that. Still, he seem to think I have some kind of talent or skill and is encouraging me to explore it further.
I did some googling to see if there are any Reiki classes available in Montreal, and if you believe in fate, it definitely seem as if it's meant to be, cause there is a class this weekend just a few blocks from where I live. So Rob called right away and signed me up for it.
It's really early and it's gonna be a bit tough. I am still randomly bursting to tears, and they will probably ask me why I wanted to learn Reiki, and I will just have to tell my story. But even if this turns out to be just another thing that's not really right for me, a lot of people around the world say Reiki was life changing for them, and it may do me some good no matter if I choose to proceed with it later or not.
Just getting out of the apartment is probably good for me even though I know there is no rush, and it may even be expected that I don't really feel like doing anything for a while.
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